Subject: learning to spell wit darnell


                  LEARNING TO SPELL WITH "DARNELL"

   This is "Learning to Spell with Darnell."  I be Darnell Jackson,
             and today we're gonna spell the word__________.  Spell it with me
             now, ____________.  Now let's use it in a sentence.

 Fortify:      "I asked this trick down on 6 Mile--How
 much?  She said fortify dollars, honey."

 Formaldehyde: "The police came to my door looking for my cousin
                          Melvin, I told them there ain't no place
                          formaldehyde in the house, it be too small."

 Foreclose:    "If I don't pay my alimony this month, I'll have more
                money foreclose."

 Fascinate:    "My sister Wolanda bought a sweater with ten buttons
                          on it, but her tits are so big, she can only
                          fascinate."

 Disappointment:  "My parole officer told me, if I miss
                             disappointment, he's going to send me back to the
                             big house."

 Dimension:    "A lot of you ladies been calling in wondering what
                          Darnel look like.  Well, he's tall, dark, handsome,
                          not dimension hung like a horse."

 Derange:      "Derange is where the deer and the antelope play."

 Decide:       "My favorite girls are Wanda and Yolanda, but I like
                to keep a couple on decide.

 Data:         "At my basketball game the other night, I score a
                          triple double and my coach said data boy Darnell."

 Copulate:     "I called 911 and an hour later when they showed up,
                          I said copulate."

 Connoisseur:  "I says to my friend Ramone, man you really stink
                          today, what connoisseur did you crawl out of?"

 Coatroom:     "The judge said, one more outburst like that and I'll
                          have the bailiff clear the coatroom."

 Clothesline:  "When I came home late again, I found my clothesline
                          on the porch."

 Catacomb:     "I went to the Douglas/Hollyfield fight and sat next
                          to Don King: man, someone oughta get that catacomb."

 Button:       "My girlfriend Juanita bought some leopard skin
                          stretch pants.  I said girl, you won't get you
                         button 'em."

 Beware:       "I asked the man at the employment office, is this
                          beware I find me a job?"

 Battery:      "The coach told my cousin Reggie he better start
                          swinging the battery won't be in the line up
                          tomorrow."

 Bagdad:       "I always wondered what was in the Bagdad use to drink
                          out of when he was sitting on the front porch."

 Assert:       "On the way home from work, I always take assert so my
                old lady don't smell liquor on my breath."

 Anus:         "The policeman told me and my friend Jerome they be
                          looking for the two guys that held up the liquor
                          store and we said---anus."

 Afford:       "I wanted to buy a Cadillac, but then had to settle
                          for afford."